Blogging while waiting for hubby to call me, hmms, YAY! finally ONE year.. Teeheehee. Hmms, really trying hard to get used to not meeting him too much, gonna look on the positive side, as one says 'absence makes the heart fonder', so i`ll just hope that my absence will make him love me moreeeee! x) Well, on our first year, i was really feeling very down, he scolded me twice and made me cry twice but he made my day in the end. We watched 'Yours Mine and Ours', a pretty good show i must say, funny and touching. Took neos but its fugly! haha. Feeling so broke now, no money at all..siann! Hate the feeling of having no money and there are still so many things i wanna buy! Arghs >;( School totally sucks now, timetable damn fucked up, everyday go school feeling so shag and siann! Hais, nvm, hope 2 years zoom by and soon, i`ll be able to send lunch to hubby everyday cos my poor baby doesnt eat lunch so he can buy his cigs, hear le damnn sad lahh, so skinny still dont eat. =( Laogong must eat everyday okay? dont starve yourself, everyday complain hungry to me, so ke liann. Hais, i type this entry for so long, its 12am now and he still hasnt called me, called him twice but he didnt answer, dont know what he is thinking sometimes. Hais.. nvm bahs. shall stop here.

Hmms, will not be blogging so much because my comp is infected with a fucking irritating virus, and it will be a miracle if i can finish typing this entry.

Well, things have not been good btwn me and hubby. We`re not as loving as we were in the past, we are sorta living in our own world,not like in the past when we both live in the same world. He is constantly playing DOTA and always neglecting me. Told him about this many times, but if he doesnt want to do anything about it, our r/s would turn bad and soon, everything would end. I dont want this to end and im trying very hard to accomodate to what he wants, but it takes two hands to clap, i cant be the only one trying so hard to save the r/s and yet he goes on that way. Our one year is approaching, yes im happy we`re tgt for so long, but on the other hand, im really sad that we have to be like this now. Calls are getting shorter and lesser, msges are also getting lesser and even meeting each other is getting lesser. Hais, i really dont know what to do anymore. He says he still loves me, yet i cant feel anything from him, not like the past when he said he loved me and i know its true. The feeling he gives me now is he is just saying for the sake of it. Hais, i cant be expecting too much, im really tired of everything. Just like on thursday, he told me he would stay over on saturday but on friday, he told me his ah ma would be coming back today den i told him his ah ma confirm wont allow him to come over to my hse to stay and he said confirm can, he ask he confirm can persuade her to allow him, but today, he said he cant come today. He himself should know his own ah ma better than me, and yet he still promised me, he made me feel so happy one moment and the next, im down in the ditches, feeling so sad and disappointed and pissed off. What for promise me when he knows he cant make it and knows that i fucking hate pple tht brk their promises. No words can describe the way we are now, but we`re definitely not LOVING anymore. Hais..im really tired alrdy.

Hmms, time now is 12.40am, cant get to sleep after what he said to me. This post is not gonna be anything much, just talking to myself, so dont read. Hais. Well, he told me to learn to Pull and Let Go. Hais, really giving it some thought and seriously, i think the main problem lies with me wanting to meet him too much. Can anyone tell me if there`s anything wrong with it? Hais, if there is really anything wrong with it, i`ll not ask him to meet me anymore instead, i`ll wait for him to date me out. He said theres this period of time when he kept sticking to me, always wanting to see me and that was the time i learnt to pull and let go. Indeed there was this period of time whereby he kept sticking to me, but i dont even know what i did. Hais. He also said that sometimes when he meet me, its not because he want to but because he scared i kpkb. Hais, so what for all the lies telling me that he cant wait to see me, hug me and kiss me etc? If its because im restricting him from doing alot if things, why cant he tell me? all i want is more time, is tht too much to ask for? hais, if its a change he wanna see, i`ll change. But dont blame me, if its not what you* pictured it to be alrights? i`ll not ask you for more time anymore, you`ll never hear me asking you anymore. I`ll not restrict you from playing your games anymore, but dont say that i aint caring for you anymore. I`ll pull the strings back when i feel like it, so at the moment, im letting it go. hais..now that he finally said all this to me, i cant help but break down and cry.. hais..

Hmms, holidays now, but fucking siann. Crush is in malaysia and hubby has school. Anyways, went out with hubby yesterday. Went out for a SHORT SHORT while only cause hubby was tired and i couldnt bear to see him like that. So we just went to have dinner and the 'Bee Tai Bak' dry at PS is oh so yummylicious! x) hahas. So after eating, accompanied hubby go smoke than we went carrefour to get my daily doses of chocolate. After that, we went to M-indsutries, i wanted to get this top, than i ask hubby if it was nice, and he said no, so i said nvm, i go try first. Than he said ok. So after trying i asked him if it was nice, than he said no. Than after awhile, he said, 'Dear, can we get the jacket another day?' and he started laughing and said it wasnt nice because he didnt want to accompany me to get the jacket and he said the top was nice and its because he was too lazy to accompany me to Far East to get the jacket. STUPID (-__-")So i bought the top in the end. Will get the jacket another day than. So hubby fetched me home and i accompanied him to the interchange to wait for his bus. Than i saw this person, the dressing looks very familar, than i realised its ASHLEY! haha. With her bf i think. So i called her and said hi. Yepps. So so bored la this holidays ! x(

Anyways, on thursday i went to meet hubby at k-box. He was with his friends, titus and titus GF and daqiu. So after kbox, me, hubby, titus and his GF went to PS. Went to catch a movie called 'Datemovie' FUCKING STUPID SHOW LAHH! haha. Anyways, before the show, we were at the arcade, than me and hubby had a FIGHT. He pushed me and i almost fell off the daytona chair. So i fucking dulan, i just went off crying. Than i called crush, she wanted to come down and find me but in the end i told her not to because very mafan plus if me and hubby ok alrdy than she would be alone. So after that, i went to 7-11 to buy water, than i sat outside 7-11. Than hubby found me and came to talk to me, so i yi shi cong dong asked for a break up. So hubby asked me if i can dont leave him den i said after the movie den talk. So thru out, while we were walking ard PS, we didnt hold hands, and when he came near me, i would move away. Than before we went into the theater, i bought a drink and took 2 straws when usually i only take one and we would share. So in the cinema, i insisted he used his own straw and i used mine. Than i didnt really bother about him, than when i turned ard, i got a shock, hubby was crying sehs! First time see him cry, i jitao shocked but also touched luhs! haha. But i wanna play hard to get mahs. x( haha. Well, dont wanna say so much la, but in the end we ok alrdy lahhhs! haha. x) STILL AS LOVING SO TOO BADDDD! we gonna be tgt forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever! =P

Laogong! i love youuuuu! Remember, you`ll never find another GF better than me! Haha. thickskin i know but i dont care. I love you lots lots! Muacks <33

Hmms, fucking soretroat, when i dont eat the antibiotics medicine, all the pain in my troat starts coming back (-____-") WHAT KIND OF LOUSY MEDICINE IS IT?! Well, checked my results from the Performance Tracking System, not disappointed thou, hahas, cause i only failed 2 subs and i expected them to fail anyways. Well here are my marks for people that wanna know,

Chinese- 60.8
Combine Humanities- 32.5
Combine Science-50.4
English- 68.3
Literature- 52
Food and Nutrition-53.1
Maths- 38


Thou all borderline passes but i contented with it already because i didnt fucking study for any of the common tests at all! TAHAHHA!

Tsk Tsk, miss my hubby so so much, meeting him tomorrow, YAYNESS! hahs. I feel that hubby has changed, ever since the timeout, we have not quarrelled once, i feel very wierd... (-___-") but the way he talks to me have changed, i cant seem to feel anything from him. Hais, maybe its old samantha thinking too much again,he have assured me over and over again that he loves me but i dont know why i just dont feel this way.. hais, nvm luhs, shall not think too muchhhhhh! And hubby, pls remember i`ll always be here for you, anything can always confide in me, you can also share your problems with me, thou i might not be of any help, but i would be there to listen to you, PROMISE! x) Loveeeeee youuuuuuuu lots my baby.. Muacks

I LOVE MARCUSSSSSS! <3333

Tsk tsk, didnt go school today cause im sick, hahs. Hmms, anyways, went to catch BIG MOMMA`S HOUSE 2 on saturday with hubby, caught the midnight movie. Well, we`ve patched everything up, im really happy! x) TeeHeeHee! Oh, and that movie is really really funny! Laugh til stomach pain x) hahs. After the movie, hubby came over to my house, really miss his hugs and kisses so so much, hahs. I gave hubby a big big tortoise to say sorry to him and when he carries it, he looks so so cute! shall upload a picture of hubby holding the tortoise! hehs,





SO CUTE RIGHT? tahahas! Love you so much laogong! Muacks <33

Oh ya, and we`re still gonna get married! haha. x) YAY YAY!

Mr Foo & Mrs Foo FOREVER IN LOVE! <33

Hmms, i think i`ve lost la, suggested a timeout and now im telling him i dont want it anymore. Hais! Cried while walking to the bus stop in the morning, cried in the bus too, wasnt feeling good at all. Reached school and many people asked me is it i didnt sleep the day before, hahs, guess its due to my swollen eyes cause i cried so much yesterday. Hais, than also cried during F&N lesson while msging with him. Hais..

Gonna meet him tomorrow, to catch a midnight movie. Hais, if we were ok, not on a timeout, he would be staying over tomorrow, hugging me to sleep. Hais.....Suan le, shall not think too much anymore!

Stupid Choo huiling! send me such a dumb song, haha, shall learn it and sing to people and irritate them! Laughs...

Hmmmmmms, nothing blog le, shall stop here. I MISS MARCUS!!! Someone please tell himmmm. TELL MARCUS I LOVE HIM, TELL MARCUS I NEED HIM!

Hais... x(

Samantha <3 Marcus

Hais, as expected, this is a sad entry again. Have asked him for a time out. Hais, im really very very sad, didnt want anything to turn out this way and i have never expected to be labelled a bitch of slut by him. Tell me, is there any wrong if i asked him to hurry come over to my house? I asked him to hurry come over to my house and all i got from him was saying that i was SELFISH, CHILDISH, IRRITATING and NOISY. I know he has got his friends, but i`ve told him a million times, I AM A GIRL THAT NEEDS ALOT OF TIME FROM MY BOYFRIEND, and explained to him why i wanna meet him so much now, its because i wanna concentrate on my exams this year and not fool around like the previous years.

The tone he speaks to me has also changed, always scolding me lots of vulgaraties, and i would always feel that pinch in my heart. I called crush and siewhwee and just burst into tears, asking them what to do. I really cannot take this any longer. Break up is the fastest way to end all this, but i dont want to and im not planning to. Im not gonna let our 11months plus relationship end in just 1 second, with just one word and also, there is too much memories that hold me back and i dont want to break up with him mainly for just one fact that i still truly love him. Thou i may tell him that i hate him and i dont want him anymore, but deep down, its totally a different matter.

I asked him for a time out, so that we both can cool down and sort our feelings out. I know this is gonna be a damn difficult time for me, and i hope that his feelings wouldnt fade for me due to this time out. Hais...

Marcus <3,
I just wanna let you know that i really still love you and in my heart, you`ll always be my hubby, the boy i love most. Hais,I dont understand why you always have to say that im a flirt when the true fact is i have never even flirt with any other guy except for you. Since the day i fell in love with you, i really hoped to spend my whole lifetime with you. You may think im joking, but i really am not. I know you`ve got your own friends and need to spend time with them too, i am trying very hard to not ask you to meet me so much, but i really cant. I enjoy being with you and i really cant bear to leave your side whenever you had to go home. The reason that i cant accept the way you scold me is because i cant accept the fact that you cant change that habit just for me. I thought i was that important in your heart, arent i? I really miss the times when you were always msg-ing me and calling me, telling me not to leave you, and always dreaming of me going off with other guys, and waking up crying because you thought i have left you for another guy. I really am very very touched whenever i hear all this from you. THAT period of time was the time that i felt most loved by you. Hais, i hope this 1 week time out for us, you would take good care of yourself, eat all your meals, and sleep early, you always complain lack of sleep, and i dont want you to fall sick. You want your freedom, and i`ve given you 1 week of it, i hope when the time is up, you would still by my hubby and i`ll still be your cute little ant and wife. I didnt want this time out to torture you or get back at you, i hope you understand. Hais, love you lots my baby <3 In my heart, we`ll never be apart. Sing Hei Se Mao Yi for me again?

每一封簡訊傳出的思念 都對你說
Sarang Hae Yo means I Love You,
Sarang Hae Yo 只對你說
I will love you, and forever more
我答應, baby you will see
每一個我都屬於你

Love you lots my boy! <3

Hais..( :: '-' :: )